|
Post by Ari Bezuidenhout on Aug 10, 2010 17:59:50 GMT 2
|
|
|
Post by Ari Bezuidenhout on Aug 10, 2010 18:00:07 GMT 2
Lada is a favourite Russian means of transport. There is big tension in Russia to classify it as an Automobile, although it suits the term of "self-constructed carriage" better. In Russia it's called also as the "жигуло" ("woman's best boyfriend"). Russians buy Ladas in pre-constructed status, with about 55% of parts in their places. Final assembly should be done by buyers with an assist of big hammer and vodka. Vodka is a kind of software called liquidware which controls the hammer. Vodka is programmed to operate the construction of a Lada; it has all the necessary blueprints programmed into it. It's created by a well known liquidware creator: "L.I.T.M.I.K.H.I.D." ("Leave It To Me I Know How It's Done") Corp. The blueprint program itself is called: "W.Y.P.O.S" ("Work You Piece Of Shit") Blueprint management system. I was stopped for speeding in a Lada, but I was let off due to the cop laughing too much. You see, I wasn't even accelerating, someone pushed me down a very steep hill, an I managed to reach 34 mph... Still, you don't have to think up any Lada jokes, the Lada is a joke. In Soviet Russian language, "lada" means swan - the name was chosen as the vehicle is basically an ugly duckling, but another nation had already claimed the name Turkey. All of these Jokes where defiantly made by a NON Lada owner because one had to own them to know how good these cars are.
|
|
|
Post by Ari Bezuidenhout on Aug 10, 2010 18:04:36 GMT 2
# Lada A Dream Automobile # Lada Asks you to Drive Alive
|
|
|
Post by ronnie on Aug 10, 2010 19:07:32 GMT 2
Hi Ari
Now we know what you learn at University ;D
Ronnie
|
|
|
Post by marius on Aug 10, 2010 19:14:39 GMT 2
|
|
|
Post by jaco1978 on Apr 14, 2011 19:27:15 GMT 2
I think this one is true for my Lada as she is pumping some hot air! I hope to fix it soon.
-- What do you call a Lada in the summer?
An oven.
*This can be true; with age the heater valve cable can need adjusting to fully close the valve, or worse the valve can sieze open if not excersised regularly.
("Joke" is from Bax's site as linked above by Marius.)
|
|
|
Post by jaco1978 on Apr 14, 2011 19:39:54 GMT 2
What's the definition of an optimist?
The owner of a Lada with an alarm system.
The owner of a Lada with a radar detector.
The owner of a Lada with a trailer hitch.
* I have the first and the last of the three so I must not be doing to bad then. ;D
|
|
excreamer
New Niva Petrol Head
Posts: 41
Registered: Mar 1, 2011 17:01:24 GMT 2
Karma: Exalt | Smite
|
Post by excreamer on Apr 15, 2011 5:19:44 GMT 2
What's the definition of an optimist? The owner of a Lada with an alarm system............CHECK The owner of a Lada with a radar detector............CHECK The owner of a Lada with a trailer hitch.................CHECK * I have the first and the last of the three so I must not be doing to bad then. ;D My Lada is worthy of all 3
|
|
bobbyd
Veteran Niva Petrol Head
Posts: 575
Registered: Oct 11, 2009 11:58:35 GMT 2
Karma: Exalt | Smite
|
Post by bobbyd on Apr 16, 2011 10:53:04 GMT 2
All three Trev? Shit I dont even know if the keys come out of mine!! I have never taken them out
|
|
|
Post by marius on Apr 16, 2011 11:09:40 GMT 2
Very funny Bobby ;D ;D ;D
Unfortunately here in SA you can't leave keys in the ignition or for that matter leave your car open.
However and fortunately the Niva is low priority for hijackers and thieves around here.
I only have no3 - the rest is a complete waist of good money ;D
Marius
|
|
vincentc
Veteran Niva Petrol Head
Posts: 1,130
Registered: Mar 16, 2011 17:59:16 GMT 2
Karma: Exalt | Smite
|
Post by vincentc on Apr 16, 2011 18:11:27 GMT 2
Hmm. I often leave the keys in my Lada and peugeot. It must be the underfed bouviers we have roaming on the property.
|
|