Post by grimmwolf on Oct 19, 2012 10:46:29 GMT 2
I can't really laugh to much, as a lot of these actually sounds like my Lada, but what the hell.
They say 90% of all Land Rovers manufactured are still on the road. The
other 10% have reached their destination.
All Land Rovers are like women – They moan on long journey’s, embarrass
you in front of friends and you spend more money than you ever expected
once you’ve committed yourself to one.
Police officers shake your hand when they issue you a speeding ticket
Why do most Defenders have jerry cans and gas bottles fitted?So that the driver can make coffee while waiting for road assistance
Landy’s have the best fuel consumption of all 4×4′s.That’s because
they are always being towed by something else.
Why do LR’s always drive in convoy?
The are playing ‘Who’s the weakest Link’
I always wondered why they called their models, a Series 90, Defender
110 etc. But this weekend I found out, those numbers in the model name are the top speeds.
When you drive on a toll road, you get these yellow emergency phones
next to the road. Stop and look closer. On the phones there are
emergency numbers: police, ambulance, doctor and landrover (to be recovered by a Niva) Service .
Q: What do you find on pages 4 and 5 of the Landy’s user’s manual?
A: The train & bus schedule.
Q: What is the sport-version of a Landy?
A: When the driver wears Nike shoes.
Q: What do you call a Landy with brakes?
A: Customized.
Q: What do you have to do if your Landy gets in the way of a swarm of
killer bees?
A: Stop pushing and take refuge inside the car.
Q. Why do the latest models have rear window demisters.
A. To keep the hands warm when pushing.
Q. Why do Landy drivers greet each other when passing by showing their palm.
A. To show that they have not pushed the Landy since the last bath they had.
They say 90% of all Land Rovers manufactured are still on the road. The
other 10% have reached their destination.
All Land Rovers are like women – They moan on long journey’s, embarrass
you in front of friends and you spend more money than you ever expected
once you’ve committed yourself to one.
Police officers shake your hand when they issue you a speeding ticket
Why do most Defenders have jerry cans and gas bottles fitted?So that the driver can make coffee while waiting for road assistance
Landy’s have the best fuel consumption of all 4×4′s.That’s because
they are always being towed by something else.
Why do LR’s always drive in convoy?
The are playing ‘Who’s the weakest Link’
I always wondered why they called their models, a Series 90, Defender
110 etc. But this weekend I found out, those numbers in the model name are the top speeds.
When you drive on a toll road, you get these yellow emergency phones
next to the road. Stop and look closer. On the phones there are
emergency numbers: police, ambulance, doctor and landrover (to be recovered by a Niva) Service .
Q: What do you find on pages 4 and 5 of the Landy’s user’s manual?
A: The train & bus schedule.
Q: What is the sport-version of a Landy?
A: When the driver wears Nike shoes.
Q: What do you call a Landy with brakes?
A: Customized.
Q: What do you have to do if your Landy gets in the way of a swarm of
killer bees?
A: Stop pushing and take refuge inside the car.
Q. Why do the latest models have rear window demisters.
A. To keep the hands warm when pushing.
Q. Why do Landy drivers greet each other when passing by showing their palm.
A. To show that they have not pushed the Landy since the last bath they had.